Marc Bulger, after the Rams' listless loss to the pathetic Arizona Gridbirds in St. Louis, called out several teammates for not caring about whether the team won or lost. He particularly noted the lack of off-the-field effort of several offensive players, without naming names. Marc added that Bruce, Holt, Jackson and several veterans were not among those that he felt did not care. It became plainly apparent that he was referring to linemen Alex Barron and Richie Incognito, as well as possibly receiver Kevin Curtis and tight end Dominique 'Hands' Byrd. While many in the mainstream media focused on this particular diatribe, another less noted complaint came from Marc, this one regarding the maintenance staff at Rams Park.
Bulger, after practice on Wednesday, commented, "I think that some of the janitorial staff here really doesn't care about cleaning up the locker room and meeting areas. Now I am not talking about the night crew, and I know that Roberto and Maria really care about this, and the guys that have been here for like five or more years are dedicated. I am not going to name names, but certain people are not pulling their weight and I think this team deserves better."
Roscoe, the only daytime janitor who has been here less than five years and is not named Roberto or Maria, was not happy to hear these remarks. Reached for comment, he noted, "I think Marc should focus on not throwing jump balls up to the Arizona Cardinal defense and less about me working the locker room floor buffer. That guy doesn't know a thing about cleaning up chew, or picking up pornography, or escorting skanks out of the locker room. As much as I love cleaning out the filth that these nasty moron meatheads leave in the showers and bathroom stalls, I guess I don't have it as hard as 'Mr. Prettyboy QB' Marc Bulger. Hey, Marc, why don't we trade jobs for a week? I can chuck some interceptions to guys in Cardinal uniforms for a couple million and you can try out washing filthy urinals for a couple bucks an hour. Let me know how that goes, Marc."
Five minutes after this interview was given, team president John Shaw fired Roscoe the former janitor for taking too long a break, while talking to reporters.
"And come to think of it," Bulger added, "that guy in the laundy room who cleans my jocks doesn't really seem to care enough either. I am having that person fired. I don't care how many children he has to feed, he's gone. It's called bleach, dude, no more stains."
[This story is a satire of public figures.]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment