Hockey fans on Orszagh injury: Who the hell is Orszagh?

Blues management announced earlier this week that forward Vladimir Orszagh would miss the 2006-2007 season while recovering from surgery to repair a cartilage defect in his left knee. This has left many of the Blues faithful scratching their heads, but not because they were confused about why this surgery had to take place when a similar one had been performed only months ago. Most hockey fans in St. Louis have never heard of Orszagh.

While Vladimir was looking forward to playing in the newly renamed ScottTrade center this fall, the injury has cost him a spot somewhere on the second or third line. Many of the faces and names on the team are wildly unfamiliar to the fan base. The sell-off shamelessly implemented by Bill Laurie left the city with a bunch of no-name players, unproven rookies and overpaid hacks. Reached for comment, overpaid hack Keith Tkachuk retorted, "I am not a hack. I may be overpaid, but I am not a hack."

The unfamiliarity with the current team by the fans is not without reason. Too many Blues fans abandoned the team during the lockout. When the team finally came back last season, the fan base was reflective upon the previous thirty seasons or so. The year-long hockey strike allowed the city in general to realize that living without Blues hockey is a little like living without herpes - you're okay for a while, but every so often it really sucks. Even before the strike, being a die hard Blues fan the past two decades was equivalent to dating a super-hot, sexually provocative prude. She (the Blues) kept teasing the fan base season after season, letting us think that we were going to go somewhere together. But then, predictably, and not without heartache, she would push us back and remind us that no means no, meagerly exiting the playoffs perennially.

So when news comes out about someone with an unpronouncable name being injured, it is no wonder that most people in the city have no idea what they are talking about. It could be completely made up and no one would know. Good luck this season, Blues, whoever the hell you are.

[This story is a satire of public figures.]