As a famous national social commentator once noted, "The internet is good for three things: Looking stuff up, email and porn." This had been the law of the land until recently when pornographic websites began to lose their grip on the stranglehold of internet traffic to online fantasy sports. Several local adult smut purveyors have been feeling the pinch due to the large influx of non-porn related traffic on fantasy sports webpages. This has meant a decrease in business for some while other have reaped a huge benefit.
Reached for comment, local internet porno kingpin Roscoe Johnson noted, "We used to get a great deal of internet traffic from the hometown St. Louis crowd, but this fantasy football stuff has really cut into our bottom line. Nowadays people are logging on to their computers to get fantasy football stats instead of porn. I was so used to having thousands of hits on my dirty-assed webpages on Sundays, but no more. Sundays have gone from our best days to our worst." Sadly, too many fine reputable local internet small businesses have been feeeling the pinch with the growth of the fantasy sports industry. "It seems like no one has time for porno anymore, thanks to damned football," added Johnson.
The internet adult websites used to look at Sundays as their best opportunity to make money. Studies have shown that people would use pornography to help themselves forget about the 'preachy' lessons imposed upon them at church or some similar service.
Johnson continued, "It just seems like there is no place in the hearts and minds of so many when it comes to smut. Damned, you, pro football." On the upside, having a pro football team, and therefore pro football players, in town has helped out the local pornography retailers and the local adult dancing industry.
[This story is a satire. Similarities to persons living or dead is coincidental.]
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