Memo to Mets fans

Dear Mets Fan,

Stlsports went to last night's bullpen beatdown in St. Louis, and it was disgusting. Not as disgusting, however, as the foul-mouthed, obnoxious Mets fans that showed up to St. Louis to root on their team, including you. A handful of these slovenly, unshaven, overweight, drunken degenerates made the trek down from New York, having taken time off from their jobs as delivery truck drivers, janitors and construction workers.

What is baseball heaven? Attending a playoff game in the beautiful new stadium in the best baseball city in the world. What is baseball hell? Sitting next to you, Mets Fan. Nothing like giving up a month of your salary for tickets and travel expenses so you can come down to another city and shout profanities from a whole new venue.

I guess the Mets fans are just sick of their team being the ugly stepsister to the Yankees. Maybe that's why they are so obnoxious. Maybe that's why they need about ten beers at the game. Sorry, Mets Fan, no Pabst or Stag on tap at Busch. Sorry, Mets Fan, no smoking cigars or stogies in the stands at Busch. Sorry, Mets Fan, no one is (probably) going to stab you or rob you on the way back to your hotel. Sorry, Mets Fan, but you have to deal with life here in the Midwest for one more night.

Hey Mets Fan, feel free to come up with a better insult than, "Hey, [Cardinal player], you suck!" It's what I heard all night. It's what I heard on each televised game from Shea. It's what everyone who has ever been to a game at that god-awful stadium has heard. "You suck!" Wow. Way to go, Mets Fan.

Feeling optomistic about tonight's game, Mets Fan? Hey, how well does Tom Glavine pitch on short rest? We could ask Leo Mazzone and Bobby Cox about that. Then what? Steve 'Batting Practice' Trachsel lined up for Game 7? Some other nobody, no-name pitcher ready for Game 6? Good luck, Mets.

Memo to Mets Fan: Shut the hell up.

How about another underdog reaching the World Series this year? How about the Mets watching the World Series from the comfort of their own homes? We can only hope.

Signed,

Cardinals Fan