In a recent poll by St. Louis sports radio fans, Howard Balzer was named the Most Attractive Sports Radio Personality. Balzer is featured prominently on the ESPN 1380 AM radio station, particularly in the mid-morning hours. Any local on-air personality was included in the pool of people eligibe to receive votes, and Balzer was overwhelmingly selected by the fans. While this might seem like a glorios honor, Balzer is not exactly thrilled with the outcome.
When asked about the award, he commented, "Winning this award is not as great as you might think. Most people who go into radio as opposed to television do so because the camera lenses are, oh, let's just say, not so kind to them. Did you see the other people on this ballot? Jeff Gordon, Bernie Miklasz, Kevin Slaten, John Hadley and the list goes on. Good gravy. I mean, winning this is like being named Worlds Sexiest Octagenarian. Not a ton of good choices here."
Balzer continued, "And who came up with the idea for this stupid poll? Honestly, aren't there other things to talk about in St. Louis? How about the election in less than a month? Maybe some playoff baseball? Why are we doing a poll about radio personalities? This is really obnoxious. Not John Hadley obnoxious, but obnoxious nonetheless. That Hadley guy, whoo, don't get me started on him. At least I didn't lose to him in this poll. Talk about no-talent. What a complete ... But I digress. So let's not waste our time on stuff like this in the future, okay, St. Louis?"
[This story is a satire of public figures.]
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