Monday, October 9, 2006

"Lambeau Leap" not satisfying for Rams players

If there is a shrine to football, it is in Green Bay, Wisconsin at beautiful Lambeau Field. That's of course if you don't count the actual NFL-approved shrine to football in Canton, Ohio, but for the purposes of this article, Lambeau Field is it. Lambeau Field has housed some of the greatest teams in professional football history, including several Super Bowl winners. The Lombardi Trophy, given to the Super Bowl winner, is named after a Green Bay packer coach. Needless to say, there is a bunch of rich history in Green Bay.

One great tradition is for a player who scores a touchdown to leap into the stands at Lambeau to be greeted by the fans. This move has come to be known by the creative name 'The Lambeau Leap.' It is known by all and revered by the fans.

During last weekend's game against the Green Bay Packers, the hometown Rams managed to steal an important road win against a struggling team. Torry Holt, the Rams' top wide receiver, scored a crucial touchdown in the first half to help propel the team to victory. After scoring, Torry decided to try the Lambeau Leap. What happened next was less than pleasant, according to Holt.

Torry noted on his first ever Leap, "I jumped up into the stands and instead of getting patted on the back, these people were pinching me and poking me in the eyes. I think I also got stabbed in the ribs with a pocket knife or something." When told that the Leap was typically reserved for home team players, Holt commented, "Well, I know that now, but I have always thought it looked like fun. That still doesn't excuse the stabbing. Or the fact that someone poured a beer down the back of my pants and left the bottle in there. Someonel also put some poison ivy leaves up my shirt. Who the hell comes to a football game with a potpourri bag of poison ivy?"

When asked if he would be doing the Lambeau Leap again in future games, Holt added, "No I don't think so. Next time I score a touchdown I am going to do something else, like maybe pretend to moon the fans in those end zone seats. That will be much more satisfying."

[This story is a satire of public figures.]

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