In a stunning turn of events, the St. Louis Cardinals baseball squadron has advanced to the National League Championship Series for the twentieth time in the last ten years, certainly setting some kind of record. Another record setting performance came earlier this evening when I drank about twenty beers in the course of four hours. Needless to say, I am feeling pretty damned good. Or maybe it's pretty damned bad. Either way, too bad I don't live close enough to the eight hundred million dollar Metrolink extension to take it downtown to celebrate before work tomorrow.
The Cards relied upon timely hitting from Juan "Strikeout" Encarnacion, who somehow managed to hit with runners in scoring position. He has not gotten a hit with runners in scoring position since the 2003 World Series run with the Marlins. Amazing. And Chris Carpenter pitched so well that I am going to vote 'yes' on Proposition 2 in Missouri next month so that we can legally clone him with taxpayer money. That way he can pitch each game of the 2007 LCS (thanks to rapid growth technology) and ensure some big wins next fall.
God bless you, Albert Pujos. If I were you, I would go up to the announcer box and tell Tim 'Idiot' McCarver to shut the hell up. He called you 'Prince Albert' about fifty times during the course of the game. Go ahead, loyal readers, and google Prince Albert. [Editor's next-day note: Don't perform this search at work. Most certainly NSFW.] Tell me what sort of pictures are on the websites you see in the search results. Not so flattering. Stick with El Hombre and not with Painful Male Piercing.
On to the NLCS against a much more talented Mets team. This is a rematch of the 2000 NLCS. But, sorry, New York, you don't have Benny Agbayani on this team! You are sure to lose this series, you pond scum assbags!
Good luck, Redbirds. I think I need to go to the restroom now, whereupon I might become involuntarily ill. Thanks for a great season to this point!
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