The 2004 World Series was an unpleasant time for the city of St. Louis, especially the part where the team was swept by the Boston Red Sox. [That sucked ass.] What really hurt even more was the fact that Hollywood decided to make a movie about the Red Sox, and that they would have the audacity to show it in St. Louis, let alone the KMOX listenership radius. Needless to say, the box office returns for Fever Pitch in the metro area were not very good. So the same Hollywood geniuses behind The Ringer, Osmosis Jones, and Stuck On You, which are all family films with good morals and lessons, brought a special edition DVD of Fever Pitch to the market, hoping to win over some local fans. Sales figures show that the super special edition has not done much to help sell the video in St. Louis and the surrounding area.
The special edition DVD was filled with a classic blooper reel, including several outtakes of Jeff Suppan baserunning errors and grooved fastballs, Larry Walker weeping to himself in the corner of the dugout, and strikeout after helpless strikeout by the Redbirds. Also included were interviews with various celebrities who were in the stands at the game rooting against the Cardinals just because Boston deserved to win a baseball championship in their minds. Steven King, Tom Hanks, Bill Simmons, Ben Affleck and other talking heads share their stories in a wonderful two disc set that is decorated like a Red Sox team baseball, full of player signatures. A mail-in certificate for a mini replica of the World Series trophy awarded to the Red Sox was also in the DVD materials. Another bonus feature is a detailed and riveting recap of the American League Championship Series where Boston improbably came back from a three games to none deficit against the suddenly impotent Yankees on their way to the World Series.
Despite all of this work put into the DVD, no one seems to be buying the special edition in St. Louis, except to deface or destroy it for amusement. When reached for comment about his thoughts on the movie, Manager Tony LaRussa opined that "Jimmy Fallon is about as funny as a car bomb. That dude is useless. Hey, Fallon, I have some news for you: You're not Adam Sandler. Please, Jimmy Fallon, crawl in a hole and die. And take Manny Ramirez with you. Why does he play while wearing pants that are five sizes too long? Man, I hate that guy!"
[This story is a satire of public figures.]
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