Saint Louis residents recently voted in a city-wide poll for their greatest sports fantasy. More than half of a million people completed the poll, making it one of the most comprehensive surveys about regional sports ever conducted. Known as a knowledgeable and loyal sports city, St. Louis has been eagerly awaiting the results of the poll. Many people have been discussing for weeks what the poll would show about the region's attitude towards each team and its hopes for success in the various leagues around the area.
One particular question asked the citizens, in multiple choice format, to describe their ultimate sports fantasy. There were many available responses, including championships for each professional team, as well as goals for the future in current and potential leagues. Receiving over 70% of the votes for the ultimate St. Louis sports fantasy was "Boston sinks into the Atlantic Ocean".
Many St. Louis sports fans have been dealing with the difficulties of letting their animosity against Boston pass on. Blues fans remember their sweep at the hands of the Bruins, including that picture of Bobby Orr flying through the air after scoring a goal. Rams fans painfully recall the Super Bowl loss to the Patriots, in one of the most mis-managed debacles ever played by a favored team. Cardinals fans all to well recall the disasterous sweep at the hands of the formerly-cursed Red Sox only a couple of years ago. If the Hawks were still here, I'm sure the Celtics would have found a way to kill them in the NBA playoffs.
Mayor Francis Slay, in responding to the poll results, stated, "Frankly, I'm not surprised. Hell, I picked that option as well. I looked like a real jackass when we lost to the Patriots and then to the Red Sox. I had to ship a crate of Ted Drewes and t-ravs up to Boston twice. If I see that Boston mayor again, I am going to punch him in the nose. And their accent is so annoying! Honestly, who talks like that?"
The other sports fantasy responses were: 1% - Blues championship; 5% - Rams championship; 5% - Mike Martz effigy burning; 6% - Cardinals championship; 12% - Naked pool party with Rams cheerleaders; 1% - other miscellaneous options.
[This story is a satire of public figures.]
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