Scott Spiezio's nickname causing him problems

Utility player Scott Spiezio of the St. Louis Cardinals has been feeling pressure from his longtime girlfriend, as a result of the nickname that he received a short time after joining the Cardinals. Not long after an informal gathering of many players at a local social establishment, Scott has been referred to as 'Sleazy-o' by his teammates, much to the vexation of his girlfriend. While Scott insists that he did nothing wrong to get this name and that it happened organically, she skeptically demands an honest explaination.

Spiezio, who spent time with the Athletics, Angels and Mariners before coming to the Cardinals this offseason as a free agent, quickly bonded with his teammates though a series of social events, including a trip to what is simply known in St. Louis as "the East side." While it is unclear where exactly the team went on that trip, it was soon thereafter that the 'Sleazy-o' nickname appeared. "It is purely conincidence that people started calling me that," said Spiezio, defending himself. He continued, "I swear, nothing happened over there. At least not to me. You should've seen what those girls did to ... whoops, almost gave it away. We agreed to keep that crap a secret. Whew, that was close."

When reached for comment in the grandstands at a recent game, said "I know he was up to no good over there. That So Taguchi is a terrible influence on Scott and I warned him to stay away from So." Her skepticism about the nickname is not without basis, since Spiezio was referred to as 'Skeezy Ho' in the Athletics clubhouse, right after a rowdy and infamous team road trip to Detroit. "I am going to figure out what happened, one way or another," vowed his girlfriend. "I am so sick of that stupid nickname. People are laughing at us in public, since it has been in the papers. We were already getting made fun of in public because of that stupid red goatee soul-patch thing on his lower lip that he dyed red. I should totally dump his ass. Is Aaron Miles single?"

[This story is a satire of public figures.]

[Thanks MWS]